Being British

By angiemccartney

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a 
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a 
Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch 
American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all?
 Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and…… Only in Britain … Can a pizza get to your house faster 
than an ambulance.

Only in Britain … Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
 to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy 
people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain .. Do People order double cheeseburgers, large fries 
and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain … Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens 
to the counters.

Only in Britain .. Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
 driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain … Do we use answering machines to screen calls and
 then have  Call Waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t 
want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain … Are there disabled parking places in front of a
 skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION…

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works
 on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
 shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of 
screwdrivers.
watering their Christmas tree while 
the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas 
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker
 pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
 out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit 
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after 
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in cccidents involving out of Control 
Scalextric cars.

And finally………

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst 
throwing up into the toilet.

You’ve got to luv ‘em!

Leave a Reply